Sunday, July 20, 2014

Untitled


I put a lot of pressure on myself
To push harder to be successful
Because there are kids who go to bed hungry
And adults living stressful

And with a government who doesn't care

About the poor or the homeless
Or the well being of the people
I find that I roam less

Enough with the clubs 

And the meaningless conversations
The living without purpose
And going to congregations

Enough with following the rules

And the hell with regulations
The hell with repercussions
I’m going after reparations

I don’t care about being invited

I’ll need no invitation
I care more about my legacy
Than I ever will my reputation

With the passing of Dr. Angelou

And my dear uncle Brian
I was scared for this world
I cannot even deny it

Some kindred souls gone

While evil still exists
I wonder how love can take over
Where evil still persists

And with every turn and twist

I fight hard to be ignited
When evil happens to me
With my purpose I’m reunited

Sometimes I write or smoke weed
Or have a drink but don’t sleep
Cuz my thoughts keep me up
They are intense and they’re deep

Like, “my cousins need me more

Have some friends that are poor
Will I rise above it all,
Then face-plant onto the floor?
Will I reach my full potential?
Will I ever help enough?
Is it okay to show emotion?
Cuz I’m tired of being tough
Will having money ever change me?
Will God still love me?
Will I ever become weak
And let this cold world shove me?
Will I ever lose my zen?
Will I lose some close kin?
Will I fall in love again
And have better luck with men?
Will these tears ever fall?
Can I walk before I crawl?
Can I only have a little,
Or can I handle it all?
Will my strong voice kill me
Like Martin Luther & Malcolm X
Or will I fall into the trap
Like Whitney Houston & DMX
Will I be misunderstood like Kanye?
Or praised like O Winfrey
Will I become obsessed with fairy tales
Pixar and Disney
Will corporations diss me?
All because they can’t change me
Will people accept the “outgoing me”
And then reject the “strange me”
Because I am who I am
And I’m not who they think
I have insecurities just like them
But still they believe I’m so unique
And they believe that I’m so strong
They think I have it figured out
They think I am so conservative and proper
And that I can’t get “nigga’d out”
Will my friends turn their backs
When the checks start coming in
Will I listen to society?
Or make decisions from within
Will my family tree crumble
Or can I somehow save it
It’s been years without the drugs
So why do I sometimes crave it?
My conscious thinking is frustrating
Because there are not many like me
Most times I don’t care what people think
But sometimes I do wonder if they like me
All because they are not like me
Or do they like me for the benefits
Do they keep me in their life
So that one-day they can benefit
I wanna be creative like Dr. Suess
And make a few billion buck bucks
And not give two fucks
A red fuck or a blue fuck
By all faith and no luck
Letting the water roll off like duck ducks
And keep pushing forward
And never claiming to be stuck stuck
I wanna get it all right
But I’ll accept getting it wrong
As long as I have a voice that still sings
Cuz caged birds still have a song
You should see the looks I get
Cuz I don’t play a lot of tricks
And I mention that I’m an author
And that I’m the age of twenty-six
They don’t believe me, they don’t believe it
I tell them to manifest it and achieve it
I have some truth to help them out
But I’m young so they won’t receive it
My views are somehow considered radical
Because religion just doesn't seem practical
And my thoughts about politics
Well, funny, and definitely laughable
And my thoughts about this country
Is that we aren't far from being collapsible
Money is always in the equation
So people problems become mathematical
Young, black, and confident
What a White American nightmare
They’ll probably wanna send me on a permanent vacation
Or a brief one on their timeshare
I think I can save this world
Create opportunities and some jobs
And keep being a forward thinker
Like the late great Steve Jobs
Will I spend all of my money
Because I hear the pain ain't cheap”

And then around three in the morning

Is when I finally get some sleep

I put a lot of pressure on myself

To push harder to be successful
Because there are kids who go to bed hungry
And adults living stressful

And with a government who doesn't care

About the homeless or the poor
Maybe I can pick up some of the slack
Before it’s my time to step outside of the door

Unless otherwise noted, All content © Brittney Pressley, 2014



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