Fatherless Parenting

To Father (from Mother of Child)

This wasn’t in my wildest dreams

Raising our child all alone

Playing both mommy and daddy

Paying this mortgage on my own

How could you sleep at night?

Knowing that your child needs you?

Knowing that they need food?

Knowing that they need shoes?

Knowing that it takes two to tango

You’re just repeating what your dad did

He ran in and out of your life for years

You never understood as you were a kid

But now that you are a grown adult

I thought you’d never act this way

Doing the same exact thing he did

You hit rewind and pressed replay

You weren’t cut out to be a parent

I wish back then it was apparent

But it’s true, you live and you learn

You can continue to be transparent

Because we will make it without you

You are the one who’s missing out

You were trying to get back at me

But me is not who it’s about

To Father (from Child)

Since I have talked to you last

It’s been forever and some days

I prayed for you all the time

Hoping that one day you’d change your ways

What is it that I did wrong?

I went to school and got straight A’s

I took care of mom when you were gone

All I ever wanted was some praise

All I ever wanted was your love

All I ever wanted was a father

All I ever needed was for you to be there

But now, please don’t bother

Because I’ve made it this far without you

There is no doubt I still have a void

You were supposed to be a role model

And you have no idea what you destroyed

You have destroyed my self-esteem

You have destroyed so much more

But I have regained my control

So destroy me, you will no more

The damage has already been done

And I made it through as a result

But no matter how old that I get

Remember I’m the child, you’re the adult

To Mother and Child (from Father)

I’m so taken aback by these words

I did the best that I could

Well, with what I had

I think you both misunderstood

See I was raised by a single mother

My dad left me when I was young

He would promise to come and get me

So his words is where I clung

He was never a role model to me

Where was I supposed to learn?

I never wanted to be like him
Where did I make the wrong turn?

The truth is that I was scared

So I ran because it was painless

I never wanted it to be like this

I wish that I could make your pain less

But please use me as a teacher

I have taught you to be strong

I have taught you to overcome

I can’t admit that I was wrong

You both may think I’m a coward

But I am still a man with pride

If you are ever feeling down

Read Maya Angelou’s Still I Rise

Because life will throw you lemons

Making lemonade is up to you

Whether you forgive me is the same

That is totally up to you too

To All (from Me)

Single mom and fatherless child

Consider it a blessing in disguise

Because you can learn from every time

That your eyes and heart cries

You both should forgive him

I’m glad that you wrote these letters

I want you to know that he was right

If he knew how, he would have done better

Just know that it’s not your fault

His absenteeism has to do with him

Making lemonade is still your choice

You can sink or you can swim

To the father that is missing out

Still I Rise is a great poem

But how can you go through life

When you have a child and do not know them?

Having no father is not an excuse

But what it does is help to explain

Why you stepped out on your child

And then went and did the same

As an adult you had a choice

Repeat history or be a man

Because a real man raises his child

And every addition to his clan

Please let this be a lesson to all

While no child asks to be born

Whenever “life happens” you have a choice

Either learn and forgive or be scorned

Unless otherwise noted, All content © Brittney Pressley, 2012.